, Top-5 BEST Times to FART in Yoga Class
, Top-5 BEST Times to FART in Yoga Class

Top-5 BEST Times to FART in Yoga Class

, Top-5 BEST Times to FART in Yoga Class

You fart, I fart, we all fart. And if you – like me – have made that fateful mistake of eating Chipotle before yoga class, then you know well the pain in the gut it is to hold that sh!t in yoga class…

When you must – because sometimes you simply must – fart in class, here’s a handful of the best times to do it…

5 – In Plank

Anatomically this is one of the easier times for the body to fart. Trying to push it out in Down dog, Warrior II, or Triangle is ill-advised.

4 – When the teacher walks by

It’s sort of a reverse crop-dust – no harm in blaming that shit on them…besides they have control of the aromatherapy sprays, and if they are alerted first then you may well avoid an olfactory crisis for the whole room.

3 – When you’re practicing next to a dude

Even if you happen to be a guy, chances are you very naturally blame the ‘dirty boy’ in class for the dirty smell ruining your class. Call it sexist, but if you’re a chick and you’re honest you’ll agree that – generally speaking – the smaller and cuter you are, the more likely it is that the pony-tailed, deodorant-eschewing hippy-weirdo gets blamed before you do…

2 – If someone else has farted

Sort of the communal application of the ages old policy of ‘they who smelt it dealt it’ – if you can seamlessly contribute to the ‘house blend’ being brewed then, by all means, do…

And the single best time to fart in yoga class?

1 – In savasana

Not only does it feel the most satisfying to release that blast of gas going into the body’s ultimate release, but because warm air rises, your hot air will too…presuming, that is, that the room you’re practicing is happens to be cooler than 98.6 degrees (otherwise you’ve just dropped a bomb on people’s peace).

Try these techniques out…just don’t try ’em out when I’m teaching, please.

And, in all seriousness, wait until after class to finish that last half of your two-day-old burrito for your own sake and others…


Justin “Jud” Kaliszewski is an artist, adventurer, and the renowned creator of OUTLAW Yoga. Best-selling author of “The Outlaw Protocol – how to live as an outlaw without becoming a criminal,” and the children’s picture book “The Adventures of Babu – from there to here,” he creates connection by delivering transformational yoga-experiences across the country, and at the Outlaw Yoga Littleton studio. Take his class NOW at www.outlawyogaclub.com and find his writing and art at www.justinkaliszewski.com.